L. O. V. E.

So, today I was watching Private Practice and there was a wedding. The wife was walking towards the altar, looking beautiful and oh so happy.... then she turned around and ran.

I was thinking what I’d do if I was that guy. Would probably just get emotional and decide the lady just doesn’t want to marry me, that perhaps we are moving too fast. I might even go as far as ending things. Then again, I’m a bit of a drama queen.

You know what this guy does?

He finds her, holds her hand and smiles at her.

Doesn’t say a word.

And they resume to walk down the aisle together.

I mean, he made it look SO easy. How easy can it be to do something like that? It makes me wonder what it really means to love somebody, that you give them this power to break your heart and you trust them with it, completely. I mean, how could he even have been sure that this woman even wanted to marry him? How can you trust people when they all hurt you?

Bob Marley once said that everybody will hurt you, you just have to find the ones worth suffering for. This means that when things get hard, and complicated, you hang in there and suffer for that person. You don’t walk away, you don’t act like a little bitch, and you suffer like a boss. Because you decided that this person is worth it. I mean, I don’t exactly know what love is yet, I’m not too sure if I ever really will. But if there’s anything I’ve come to learn it’s that when it comes to this stuff, you do not give up on somebody that you love, ever.  Even if it’s killing you. Unless you reach a point where you feel like said person isn’t worth it anymore.

That requires strength though, and personally, I’ve always been weak when it came to this department.

I walk - no RUN when conflict that make me question one's feelings towards me arise.

However, today I told myself that I shall not be a weakling anymore.

The next person that I (think I) love, I will not give up on them.

No matter how much it hurts, for as long as I love them.

Talk is cheap though.

Let’s see if I’ll ever walk the walk.

At least I’m taking the first step: Challenging myself.
But I think that once I meet the right person... it won't even feel like a challenge at all.
Because love just makes it.... easier I guess.
Not less painful.
Just easier to do.

“I love everything about her and I’m not a guy who says that lightly. I’m a guy who has faked love his entire life. I thought love was just something idiots thought they felt, but this woman has a hold on my heart that I could not break if I wanted to, and there have been times when I wanted to. It has been overwhelming and humbling and even painful at times, but I could not stop loving her any more than I could stop breathing. I am hopelessly, irretrievably in love with her. More than she knows.”

—	Barney Stinson