Next Time I'll Be Braver - I'll Be My Own Saviour

I feel the most sane when I am writing.

If I'm not writing it because something else is keeping me sane, I don't really want to be sane or I just don't feel like dealing with my insanity.

To write is to face myself.

The demons, the possibilities and the promises.

& I hate it when I look at myself and regret the choices I am making.

In my mind I see the end, the fatal car crash and in fears of preventing it I feel like I ensure that it occurs.

Whenever I feel this way I tell myself that I tried the best I could, that if I keep trying I can fix it.

And that never happens and I just feel awful afterwards.

A lot of the time, I feel like I get it right the first time.

My intuition gives me an answer and I know its right but it's usually scary.

And every time I go against my intuition, things end up being so much worse.

My intuition is usually right.

Maybe always.

And I know this because when I share my intuitive thought about something with someone else I am usually right.

But it's so hard to apply to myself because I am an over thinker by nature.

I over think multiple choice questions on my test

I over think which sweets to pick and why.

I over think my relationships, my friendships.

It's why I write.

Because my mind cannot handle all of these buzzing thoughts all at once.