An Ode To My Teenage Years.

Being a teen has been hard.

Really, really, excruciatingly hard.

Bone breakingly, soul crushingly hard.

I've learnt a lot

& after all that, I'm still learning.

Have 1 more week before I am retired from my teens.

Being 12 in high school sucked.

I remember not being able to wait to turn 13, oooh I didn't even know the shit my teens would put me through.

Pretty sure the second lowest period in my life was at 13.

I felt ugly, was really skinny and just could never fit in.

14... well, I had my first kiss at 14.

My first love at 14.

Picked up some of my worst habits at 14.

I think I was the most awkward at 14 because I was trying so hard to not be awkward anymore?

15... Pretty shitty too....

Better than 14 I think.

It sucked a lot because I was transitioning into a new school with new friends trying to abandon the old me.

16....

I'm pretty sure 16 was the shittiest year of my life.

Goodness.

It was shitty from the day after my birthday right through to my birthday again.

Hmmm... no.

It's a miracle I actually turned 17 hey.

I did not have a sweet 16.

17....

Jesus.

I will say that I was the most bold self at 17.

But goodness.

So many things sucked about starting college while being under the age limit to legally drink alcohol.

So. Fucking. Much.

I had a lot of fun.

Got my 2nd absolute drunkest to date.

But...

I'm pretty sure that I was fucked over in the worst way at 17.

And that's all I'm saying about that.

Remember that first love from when I was 14?

Yeah, I still loved him when I was 17

& at 18 decided it was time to move on.

18....

Well.

I started of 18 by having my first and only ever interracial experience. (just kissing)

I like my men like I like my muffins I suppose, dark and sweet :)

So it wasn't quite for me but still an experience I'm glad I had.

18 again was a transition period for me from being wishey washey me to me having to get my shit together to be in my first serious relationship.

Which was hard, it was really hard because I REALLY had to pull myself together after years of being a mess which I can say has been worth it.

Lynn at 19...

Lynn at 19 is still working hard to get her shit together and is surprisingly better at it.

I suppose now it's a habit.

I laugh and smile now a lot more often.

Me at 19... I guess me at 19 is soulful.

I'm not exactly where I want to be, but I'm pretty happy and I'm getting there.

I once read someone saying Happy New Year to somebody on their birthday and I was like WTF but now I totally get it.

Around the time of my birthday, shit has a habit of going down and I was always having to start a fresh.

And I guess that's nice because it's organic, positive growth not me forcing it.

I've only come to appreciate that recently though :)

Which is cool.

I definitely want to say that I did the Teen thing right. I did well in school and I got plenty of piercings, I pissed my parents off, and I had amazing highs, I had crushingly depressing lows, I had a heartbreak, I made friends and I caused a stir at school and and and...

So I toast a glass to Teen Me because she did it right, she survived it all, she learnt lessons and I hope that on Friday, the last day I'm a teen, I end it in the most teenage way possible.

As for turning 20, I will not lie I have BEEN freaking out.

Feeling like I need to get my shit together and and and ...

But recently it was pointed out to me that I'm Just 20.

20s are the time I get to get my life together and have fun and probably fuck up a bit as I do it.

I have my whole life ahead of me and I am probably going to

fuck

shit

up!

And I'm probably going to

build

shit up!

I plan on having fun and uplifting stories to tell when I am 70.

So yes, I will leave my teens knowing that I have evolved into someone capable and still fun.

I am so so lucky because I get to leave my teens being so so in love with someone and happy and content and satisfied and thankful of the experience.

AND I get to continue doing so in my twenties while still making some more responsible choices.

I just hope I do my twenties as well as I did my teen years.